Swapped
by coffeemione
Summary: DISCONTINUED/OLD - Boy and girl fight. Boy and girl get detention. Boy and girl are forced to concoct a potion. But what if boy and girl accidentally switch bodies? Can they switch back by the end of the year without ruining each other's lives?
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** The name is coffeemione – NOT J.K. Rowling. Therefore, I own nothing that had to do with this story except the plot and the keyboard I typed it on. If I _did _own anything…I wouldn't be sitting here writing a disclaimer, now would I?

**A/N:** The start of yet another story! When will I learn? I never finished Opposing Magic, nor Abbie's story…I will eventually, I promise…but I have this awful habit of skipping from one story to the next. When I was watching TV this plot bunny just popped into my head and I _had _to use it…didn't want to let the fluffy bugger hop away, did I?

This idea actually came from that new movie with Lindsay Lohan, Freaky Friday. Hehe. I get inspired by the oddest of things.

Now, may I present to you…**Swapped.**

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**Chapter One**

_"Ron,_ that is _all wrong," Hermione said exasperatedly in the middle of Potions class one Wednesday afternoon. "You're going to end up with a Dungbomb Tonic, the way you're going."_

Ron glared at Hermione while adding several newt tails to the frothing cauldron in front of him. "I think I'm capable of making lemonade myself, Hermione."

"It isn't _lemonade_, it only looks like such," Hermione said. She muttered a handy charm that kept the stirrer circling around her cauldron while Snape's back was turned. Ron gazed in awe for several seconds before remembering he was currently annoyed at Hermione. "Whatever it is, I don't need you breathing down my neck while I do it. Get back to your own potion; I think it might be turning an orange."

Hermione gasped and swiveled around on her chair, nearly knocking her cauldron over. Ron snickered next to her as Hermione prodded her still yellow potion, fuming.

"And I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of _my_ business, Ron!" she seethed.

Harry, who was sitting on the other side of Ron, leaned forward to catch Hermione giving Ron the evil eye. "Keep it down," he muttered. Snape was prowling down the Slytherin rows on the other side of the dungeon. "Don't start a scene in class, especially in this one."

Both Ron and Hermione disregarded Harry's comment, Ron in particular, as he retorted, "It's easier said than done, isn't it, Hermione?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're _always_ nagging me," Ron emphasized. He put on a high, shrill voice that caused several heads near to turn. _"Get your homework done, Ron. No, I'm not giving you the answer to number ten, figure it out on your own. No, no, no, that's _wrong_, Ron, _when _will you get it right? Go away, Ron, I'm studying for a stupid test that I'm not going to take for another two weeks. Ron, don't _hurt Crookshanks, it's not _his _fault you're idiotic enough to –"__

Hermione gaped. "I do _not _sound like that!" she shrieked. She was standing now, and several other students were becoming more interested in the quarrel than their assignment. Harry tried once again to calm Hermione down but failed. She continued squawking. "I sound _nothing like that, Ron, and you __know it! Why don't you just shut up and –"_

"Don't tell me to shut up!" Ron responded, standing now himself. They were facing each other and both were equally red in the face. The rest of the class, including the Slytherins, was now watching. Harry thought it was a miracle that Snape still hadn't noticed.

"I'll tell whomever I like to shut up, so shut up!"

_"Blah, blah, blah, shut up, Ron, blah, blah blah, I'm so annoying, blah –"_

"Stop acting like a juvenile git! You're making a fool of yourself!"

_"Stop acting like a juvenile git, blah, blah, blah, I'm so incredibly bossy –"_

"I am not bossy! _You're_ so thick –"

_"I'm so bossy, blah blah –"_

"SILENCE!"

Ron and Hermione both froze to the spot. Their anger ebbed away as a sudden hush in the room surrounded them. Standing in front of them was Snape, and he was as livid as ever. He stared at them with such coldness and malice that it was quite clear they were both in serious trouble.

"How dare you interrupt my class with one of your little disputes?" Snape said, his voice as icy as his expression. He spoke slowly and clearly, pronouncing each syllable carefully. Obviously, he wanted to make a large impression that they were in for it.

Ron and Hermione both stared at their feet while Snape continued. The whole class was watching intently, their potions in front of them completely forgotten. Draco Malfoy, along with the rest of the Slytherins, was quietly sniggering uncontrollably. Watching Snape yell at Gryffindors was what they lived for.

"I hardly think," Snape continued in the same tone, "that this class is place for your arguments, as amusing as they are. I believe that I and the rest of this class would be happy to hear your anger voiced on your own time in other more appropriate locations. Now, have I made myself clear?"

Ron and Hermione both nodded, utterly amused. It looked to them as if they might be able to escape total humiliation _and _detention – from Snape. The class stared in amazement as Snape turned stiffly on his heel, walking with a _click click_ back up to his desk. He sat down at his desk and began scribbling on a piece of parchment.

"Weasley, Granger," he suddenly called out. The two, who noticed they were still standing and quickly sat down, looked to the front of the room. Snape's eyes were still cast down on the parchment, but a curled smile formed on his lips as he spoke. "It's obvious you're both rather dim students, but even _you must be smart enough to realize I wasn't going to let you off with that, right? Perhaps I stand corrected, but be that as it may, this is far from over. Thirty points from Gryffindor __each and a week of detention." By the time he finished, it was clear he was trying to keep from chuckling in satisfaction._

Ron's ears turned considerably pinker while Hermione fiddled with her quill. They were trying to avoid the stares from the class, and, in particular, the stare Snape had now fixed them with. It was certainly one of pleasure. Possibly they _had been stupid enough to think __Snape wasn't going to let them off without degrading them in front of the entire class and punishing them with detention. It should have been expected._

Malfoy had to duck under his cauldron to hide his laughter, but of course, Snape didn't notice; he went back to his paper. Ron even managed a feeble glare at Malfoy until Snape's voice rang around the room again, much more Snape-like, "What are you all waiting for, a week's worth of detention too? Get back to your pitiful potions before I fail you now!"

With much rustling and shifting in seats, the class turned back to the cauldrons in front of them. Ron and Hermione, however, remained as before, both avoiding the other's gaze while staring at the table. Harry tried catching Ron's eye once or twice but was afraid to disturb either one of them. He sighed in defeat and continued to stir his potion. It was going to be a very, very difficult week.

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**A/N:** So, it's the start of another story! *dum dum dum* I do hope I finish this one…eh. And sorry if it seems to start out a little slow. I had the idea of introducing the story with a fight, following a detention, and then…well, I haven't written that yet, so I won't reveal any more! But it will be more past paced as soon as we get past detention. _That's _when the fun starts, hehehe. *evil cackle* Now, review for me so I'll continue! PLEASE! I don't have any good things to give out like I did in Opposing Magic…ah, the good old days. So, just for the benefit, click the button and tell me what you thought.


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N:** Thanks for the comments on my first chapter! I must admit, I didn't get many…but this is a new story, right? And I apologize for not getting to "the switch" yet in this chapter…but soon, my friends, very soon…*another evil cackle*

SilverSparrow21: I knew YOU'D give me a positive review, haha. Yes, I must admit, I _do think up pretty convincing fights, don't I? I've had years of experience._

Shania Maxwell: Yes, I can't wait to get to the switching part either! But every good story has to build up before we get to the main center of the plot.

Shadowfox5: That's what one might think when they first read my story, but aren't most stories like that? The first chapters are sort of just an introduction, but you catch on as the story continues? Thanks for saying it was well written. I do try my best.

'Mione Weasley: Thanks!

Raven and Chelsea: Thanks!

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**Chapter Two**

That night, Hermione and Ron could be found sitting in opposite corners in the Gryffindor common room, dreading nine o'clock, which would be the time of their detentions with Snape. Both was so furious with the other that they forced themselves to stare at the wall – or maybe that was to avoid the looks their fellow sixth years were giving them.

Harry tried on more than one occasion to console them both and tried to get them to talk, but it would have been smarter if he'd kept his mouth shut and worked on his homework. Hermione was so angry at Ron for being embarrassed in front of the whole class _and _a teacher that she wouldn't even _think _of speaking to him. Ron was livid at the fact Hermione would even _try to tell him he was adding the wrong ingredients to his potion, thus starting the whole fight in the first place. After an hour of running back and forth across the common room, Harry slumped into a chair, deeming his mission utterly pointless._

Alas, as it would have sooner or later, the nine o'clock bell chimed around the room, signaling Ron and Hermione's feared detention. Harry watched them leave – Hermione got up first and exited through the portrait hole while Ron waited a full minute until she was gone before doing the same. It was rather amusing how much energy they put into ignoring each other, Harry thought dismally, when the simple solution would just be to apologize. But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, he realized, when the subjects were Ron and Hermione.

Hermione arrived in the dark and gloomy Potions chamber five minutes past nine. Snape wasn't there yet but on his desk at the front of the room stood a large cauldron and several vials of ingredients. It was clear they would be brewing a potion for detention. Hermione took a seat in the first row like in class and waited for Snape to appear.

Instead of Snape entering the room was Ron. He too saw the cauldron and ingredients on the desk and groaned; it was going to be just like class. Hermione was sitting at the front, and Ron didn't want to give Snape the impression (though he was sure he _had_ years ago) that Hermione was going to be the suck up in this detention, so he too took a seat in the first row, several desks away from Hermione. She, however, paid no attention to him.

They sat in silence for ten minutes before the door swung open again. Snape walked in this time, looking slightly agitated. He was muttering to himself and jumped when he saw Ron and Hermione. They were surprised to see Snape so unorganized and unlike himself, but he quickly gathered up his cool and flew like a bat to his desk.

"I apologize for being slightly late," he said. "A staff meeting ran overtime." His voice was full of annoyance and enmity. "But now we shall start your detention. Remember, you will come here at nine o'clock every night for the rest of the week. If not, the consequences will be dire. And don't forget your reason for being here in the first place. You are being punished for disrupting my class with one of your little _arguments_."

Ron and Hermione sat in silence, pretending to not be affected by Snape's words at all, while Snape gathered up the cauldron and vials. He levitated them to a table next to his desk with a swish and flick of his wrist and then beckoned Ron and Hermione forward. They accepted and stood in front of the little desk, avoiding eye contact with both each other and Snape.

"For tonight and the rest of the week," Snape explained, "you will be working on a potion called the Dilating Draught. It is a complex concoction that will, therefore, take several nights to complete. I have left the necessary ingredients and a page of instructions. I will be back at exactly midnight to check your progress." And with that, Snape swept from the room, once again leaving Ron and Hermione alone.

The two stood in silence for a minute, unable to look the other in the eye. It was indeed an awkward situation. Hermione was the first to make a move. She stepped forward, examining the instructions, and muttered more to herself than Ron, "We'd best get started."

Ron, however, did not notice. He was staring at his shoelaces with a look that clearly said "I am not taking part in this stupid assignment." Hermione caught his attitude and spoke, this time, to him. 

"Ron, if you aren't going to do your share in this, then I won't do anything. I just don't know how we'll explain to Snape that no progress was made…"

She stood with her hands on her hips like a mother addressing a little child. Ron growled under his breath, muttered a "Fine" and grabbed the parchment from Hermione. He read aloud the introduction.

_"The Dilating Draught is a potion often used to enlarge objects. It is very complex and could go wrong even if the tiniest error were to be made. At the end of the week, if the potion has been brewed properly, I will test your work on each of you in turn. If it is correct, you will grow several feet. If it is incorrect, you will most likely shrink, which is irreversible, and which will also cost many house points to be subtracted. I don't recommend going wrong unless you wish to spend the rest of your lives as midgets."_

Ron and Hermione absorbed the information Snape had written after Ron set the paper down. It looked as if they were going to have to work together to get this potion right; otherwise, they _would _be spending the rest of their years at Hogwarts as three-foot-short midgets.

Hermione read aloud the first instruction, still avoiding Ron's gaze, "Fill cauldron halfway with water boiled to 350 degrees." She lit a fire under her cauldron and took a thermometer out of Snape's cupboards while Ron went to fill a bucket with water. Hermione inserted the thermometer into the cauldron and Ron poured the water into the cauldron, leaving it half empty, just as the paper had said. It looked as if things wouldn't be that bad.

An hour later, however, things changed.

"I said _two cups of Bogweed, not three, Ron!" Hermione exclaimed while scooping out some of the slimy green grass from the cauldron._

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ron mocked. Evidently, he was not. "Forgive me. I'll listen better next time, even if it bores the hell out of me."

Hermione glared him. "Then maybe I should just do this whole thing alone," she fumed, "or tell Snape that my _partner _has a lack of communication skills when you turn into a midget!"

"Tattling to the teacher, are we, now?" Ron grinned at his own scorn. Hermione did not. She dumped a large bag of dragonhorn powder into the boiling cauldron, sending puffs of smoke into their faces. They coughed until the clouds of powder disappeared and Ron took control, muttering about "showing _her."_

"An ounce of doxy skins," he read. Hermione checked the bags on their table for doxy skins but couldn't find any. "Go to that cupboard," she said, pointing bossily across the room, "and take out a bag of it. We haven't got any here. And make sure you get the right bag."

Ron made a rude face at her before obeying. He opened the cupboard, mimicking Hermione under his breath, and faced several shelves all labeled _Skins_. He scanned the rows for _doxy_ passing several others that were most unpleasant to think about using. Finally he found the right bag, next to _unicorn_. He walked haughtily back to the table, pleased with himself for showing Hermione he was capable of doing tasks on his own.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron and grabbed the bag, examining the label. She groaned and shoved it back into Ron's arms, smirking. "Check the labels next time," she said. "I said _doxy, not _pixy_. Honestly."_

Hermione did the rest of the work that night, in fear Ron would mistake an ingredient for something else and turn them into midgets. Snape arrived at ten past midnight. Hermione was adding lacewings to the potion when he told her to stop. He examined the potion and the list of ingredients (they had already checked off several) and seemed to be satisfied enough to let them go. They raced from the dungeon before Snape could find a reason to stop them and didn't stop (or talk to one another) until they got to Gryffindor tower where bed was only a step away.

* * *

The rest of the weeks' detentions continued in the same manner: more fights and more ignoring. It seemed as if they were going to get through the last night uneventfully as they walked down to Snape's chamber (actually walking _together _this time, but still not talking). Once again, Snape left the instructions and ingredients on the table and left them alone, but this night, he told them to both take a drink of the potion when they were finished and if, when he came back, they had grown taller and not shorter, they would be dismissed without any trouble.

They added several small ingredients before Hermione read aloud, "Two teaspoons of Hungarian Horntail blood. And don't bring back anything else." 

Ron, who was in higher spirits that night, bounded over to the cupboards again. There were vials atop of vials of different creatures' blood…this cupboard was more massive than the skins one. Ron wondered where Snape got these from as he scanned the rows…_bowtruckle, acromantula, puffskein, kelpie, Hungarian Horntail…_there it was.

"Hurry!" Hermione commanded from behind him. Ron grabbed the vial and proceeded back to the cauldron, pouring it in. A blue wisp of smoke rose from the cauldron momentarily before disappearing. Hermione re-checked all the ingredients on the parchment before setting it down with a sigh of approval. The potion was done.

"Well…time to drink it…" Ron murmured. He raised his head and his eyes met with Hermione's for the first time since before their fight. Her eyes bore the same look as his – anxiousness. Neither of the two wanted to turn into midgets or get more house points taken away…really, all they wanted was to end their fight and be friends again, but neither would admit it, either…

"Let's do it at the same time," Hermione suggest. Ron shrugged and dipped a goblet into the potion, which was now a bright blue. Hermione did the same. It was steaming and smelled of cabbage – it did not appear appetizing. She and Ron looked into the mixture they had made with looks of disgust.

"This better be right," said Ron before he and Hermione tipped their cups upward into their mouths. It bubbled and frothed all the way down, making them slightly dizzy, but it seemed safe, at least – they didn't drop dead upon drinking. 

Hermione looked up at Ron, expecting him to shoot up several more feet, even though he was tall enough. Ron anticipated the same while staring at Hermione. But nothing happened. They remained the same.

"It didn't work," Hermione whispered. "We must have put a wrong ingredient in." 

"Well, at least we aren't midgets," Ron said. Hermione glowered.

"This is your fault!" she screeched, throwing her goblet down. "I _know _you put something wrong in, you couldn't get an ingredient right to save your life!"

"And be it far from expected that _Hermione Granger would do something wrong!" Ron shot back, his ears now tinted pink. "Just blame it all on the stupid one, eh!"_

"You're not stupid," Hermione said. Ron stared. "You're _brainless."_

"_Perfect, smart, know-it-all Hermione,_" Ron teased in a high voice not unlike Hermione's own. "_Oh, no, I did something wrong! The world will come crashing down any moment now! Oh, dear, oh, goodness, oh, my –_"

"Finished, I presume?" came a cold voice from the doorway, interrupting Ron's rant.            

Snape was standing there, shuffling papers, with a look of amusement on his face. Obviously, he had listened to the whole thing from his expression. Ron's ears turned a full red and a blush rose into Hermione's cheeks. Caught again.

"You must be if you have time to do _that again," Snape said quietly. He swept over to the potion and then looked at Ron and Hermione. His expression changed immediately into one of highest irritation._

"It's wrong," he said needlessly. "But I'm surprised you haven't been turned into midgets. Of course, this was most likely expected, but I had wanted to use this potion for a personal reason of mine." He prodded the top of the water with his wand, making blue swirls across the surface. "A wrong ingredient was added. What a waste of good potion supplies. Obviously, your lack of paying attention in class has paid off."

Ron and Hermione cast their eyes down again as they did most often when Snape was ridiculing them. He, however, continued, gaining liking to it. "That will be, lets see…twenty points each for failing to read instructions correctly and another weeks' detention. Let's hope you'll get it right then. I expect you back here on Monday night. That is all."

Without a back glance, Ron and Hermione scampered from the room in crushed morale. They had both been hoping to get the potion right to prove Snape wrong, but failed. And it was interesting that they hadn't shrunk, but stayed the same…Hermione escaped up her staircase to the girls' dorms without another look at Ron, and Ron went to find Harry to tell him of the night's events. But little did the two of them know that more had happened that night than they knew.


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N: **Okay, I must admit, this story is going a little better than I expected…thanks for all the kind reviews, readers! You keep me doing this! And yes, as you probably expected, _the switch happened in the last chapter…*dramatic music* Hehe. Boy, am I going to have FUN writing this chapter!_

And I will be changing POV between Ron and Hermione periodically. A * will signal a POV change, as you should remember from Opposing Magic (if you've read it…if you haven't, BAD, BAD READER! GO READ WHEN DONE WITH THIS!)

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**Chapter Three**

Hermione woke with an unbelievable migraine the next morning. Her head was throbbing like it was on fire and, she realized, her whole body felt numb as if she had just fallen several hundred feet. On top of that, her pillow was unusually hard, which added to the discomfort of her head. Her eyelids were heavy and did not want to open but Hermione could feel the sunlight beating against them; she knew it was morning and time to get up for another day of classes. If she was going to lie about in bed all day, her whole study-for-exams schedule would be ruined.

She rolled over in bed to face what she thought was the window and slowly opened her eyes. Her room was brighter than it usually was and it took several minutes until her eyes were fully adjusted to the lighting in the room. Hermione stared out the window at the sun in the blue, cloudless sky, hovering above the lake, casting rays down every which way, bouncing off trees, shimmering across the water, spreading a warmth throughout her body –

_Wait a minute_, Hermione thought. _I don't have a window near my bed!_

Confused, Hermione rolled over. She had been sure this was her room. She remembered falling down on top of her bed after detention last night! But the beds next to her were empty and unfamiliarly messy. Parvati and Lavender _never left their beds with the sheets strewn across them like that. Such prissy girls as them always made sure their beds were perfect before leaving. Either they both had a change of heart or something was very, very wrong._

Hermione continued examining her room. The décor was different, too. Who put up that West Ham soccer poster? Where did these orange bed sheets come from? Why did Parvati and Lavender decide to redecorate in the middle of the night? Perhaps they were playing a great big joke on Hermione. But if so, what was their motive? Driving Hermione mad with ugly posters and bed sheets? It seemed absurd.

Hermione instinctively reached to her bedside table where she had left her newest and most favorite book, _A History of Little Creatures: Including Doxies, Gnomes, and House-Elves._ She planned on reading it during breakfast to avoid conversation with Ron – but the book was not there. It was not on her table at all, and she was _sure she had left it there. Hermione began to panic – that book was the only one she could find that contained house-elf information and it happened to be the last one in stock at Flourish and Blotts!_

_Wait,_ she told herself. _Why am I panicking? It's obvious what's happened. Parvati and Lavender wanted to annoy me so they redecorated the room awfully and then stole my book. It's stupid but obvious._

Hermione clambered out of bed and looked at the clock Lavender kept on her bedside table. The clock was not there. The only thing on the table was an old book that looked like a picture album…Hermione stared at it for a minute thinking it was _oddly _familiar…

_I'm going crazy_, she thought, dragging her feet (which seemed heavier this morning) across the room to the mirror. _That potion made me insane. I need breakfast and a full day of classes. That'll do me good. If I could just look at my reflection to check that I haven't turned into a green alien, I'll be satisfied. Then I can go have a good yell at those girls._

Hermione stopped in front of the mirror, still quite drowsy. She stared at her reflection for a several long minutes before the full impact of what she was seeing hit her. She swung around madly to face the room again – the orange bedspread, her missing book, the messy beds – and it all clicked. She understood.

_Oh, my God_, she thought. Then she screamed.

*

_I feel like I was run over by a horde of Hippogriffs_, Ron thought as he awoke in bed. It seemed more comfortable than usual and his pillow was like a cloud, but that didn't make up for the horrid ache throughout his whole body. Either that or someone had tried pummeling him to death during his sleep. _Don't be thick, Ron, _he told himself, mimicking what Hermione would say, _like anyone would be stupid enough to attempt that._

Ron rolled over in bed, thinking it was still early in the morning. The sun wasn't streaming in through the window like it usually did. His eyes flickered open involuntarily for a moment and caught the time on an unknown clock on Harry's bedside table that had not been there the night before when Ron flopped onto his bed, explaining to his friend about the detention. It was nine o'clock in the morning, time for breakfast, yet it didn't feel like it.

Ron groaned and flipped over again. "Harry, mate, s'time to get up," he muttered to the bed next to him, strongly expecting Harry to be there and to respond. Harry and Ron always got up at the same time. But the bed next to him did not respond, as there was no one in it – it was completely Harry-free. Ron would've had better luck talking to the clock, for all the good it did. "Harry?" he muttered, stronger this time. No response. "Harry, get up." Yet again, there was no response. It was clear Harry was not there. _Where could he be? _

Feeling slightly more awake, he opened his eyes again to get a full look at the sky out the window. He thought it was nice waking up to that. Instead, he got a full look of the stone in the wall. There was no window next to his bed and there had been the night before. He'd been sleeping in this dormitory for years – windows couldn't just disappear over night, could they?

_Knowing Hogwarts, it's possible, _Ron told himself thickly. He wouldn't have believed this had he not been so lethargic.

He scrambled out of his bed and realized it wasn't orange, but _pink. Ron detested pink. It reminded him of girls. Where had his Chudley Cannons bed sheets gone? __Must've disappeared like the window, he thought, even denser than before._

Ron rubbed his eyes, hoping to wipe away the sleep, but accidentally cut himself above his eye instead. He brought his hands down to examine them. His nails were long, longer than before, and his fingers were much more petite. Both his hands looked like they had shrunken a great deal overnight. _Stupid eyes. Playing tricks on me._

He reached for the glass of water he had left on his bedside table the night before, planning to throw it in his face, but didn't find it. In its place was a book that he couldn't remember putting there. "_A History of Little Creatures: Including Doxies, Gnomes, and House-Elves_" he read aloud slowly. _House-elves_. "This is Hermione's book," he muttered out loud again to no one in particular, tossing the book onto his pink bed. "Dunno how that got here." He planned on giving it back to her at breakfast but then remembered they were currently in a fight. He frowned. He hated fighting with her.

Ron threw open his dresser (which had moved a full ten feet from where it had been the night before), prepared to pull out clothes for the day. _Shirt, vest, tie, socks, skirt…_

_Wait a minute. _He held up the unmistakable skirt. How had that gotten there? Ron looked down. He was wearing a nightdress. Now, how had _that _gotten there? He honestly couldn't remember putting it on the night before.

He whirled around to face the mirror (which, like the dresser, had moved a great deal from the last time Ron saw it…previously it hadbeen on the other side of the room) and gaped. What was all that stuff on his _head_? He knew that wasn't his. _That's…hair, he told himself._

_Bloody hell…this isn't my room…this is…I'm…_ Then he screamed a very high scream.


End file.
